Wandering About Chasing the Dream

In life we are all chasing a dream, in the United States it is a constant drumming to children and middle-class workers to live the American dream. Growing up in Australia, I can't remember any defining dream-making stories, which is probably the reason why I created my own along the way. My parents can probably vouch for me on this one, if I wanted something I worked out a way to make it happen, and it was usually not what everyone else wanted. At some point growing up, I turned against what most people thought was normal, it was a coming of age moment when after my 10th birthday I didn't want to be the girl that blended in with everyone else. I quit dance class, threw out all of pink decorations in my bedroom and pulled my hair back. I decided at a young age that I was going to define my own dreams, and chase them. I am proud of that moment, and 14 years later, I have another itch to chase my next dream.

I had just finished an organic, filling and mega-tasty breakfast at my favourite cafe in Cronulla. It's a ritual to come down here for a Saturday starter in the sun, but I had the morning off work to head to a medical appointment and wanted to make the most of the gorgeous weather Sydney had been lucky with this Winter. Maybe since living in Melbourne, and being under a blanket of grey 90% of the time, I needed to embrace the blue skies I had missed so much. 

After brekky, I had an hour to kill until I needed to head to my appointment, so I walked 4 kilometres around Bate Bay in Cronulla, and took in the phenomenal views that cannot be taken for granted. I love this spot. I have my earliest memories in this place, whether picnicking on the grass behind Shelley Beach as a toddler, or body boarding at Eleura as a teenager, this place is as home as it gets. For more than just the memories, but I own a property here and have lived right in the thick of it for a year of my life so the weekly visits were permanent at some point. I love people watching and as I listen to people walk together chatting about what their plans for the weekend are, or how they're not speaking to their boyfriend right now because of how much of a jerk he is, I wonder what their journey in life is. I am here this morning only because I have a morning off work to go to the doctors, but these people around me have tans that take an effort so mornings here must be frequented. How do they do it? I would kill to be strolling the beaches of Vietnam, or the Swiss lakeside just one morning at a time, what are these people doing each day wasting time here, or is this just the lifestyle they worked so hard for? I must admit being stranded until my next departure makes me an envious person, I think it is due to lack of travel in the last year and my soul is yearning to be driving to that airport for an international departure - on a one way ticket. 

A spot to contemplate, with a view - Growing up in Cronulla, New South Wales

45 minutes later, I head back around the bay to wait for Shaun to meet me. This 10 minutes I spent waiting was a ground breaking moment for me. The first time I have never thanked Shaun for making me wait. I sat down looked at this spectacular view, and knew that everything we had planned was right, and we were heading in the right direction. Any inkling of doubt was washed away that morning at the beach, to the point where I would even sell our property to make our dreams come true. That property was 500m up the road, and our tenants were probably coming home from night shift working at the hospital or cleaning up the apartment to get ready for a party there were probably going to throw to start off the weekend. Who knows, we don't know them, but they're living there while we are stuck with the lack of financial freedom to leave the country without a doubt. 

Contemplation time was over, I was sitting in the waiting room to see my gynaecologist (sorry for the overshare, but it's a woman's world). Literally 15 minutes in the room with my doctor, I am back at reception paying over $200 and booked in for surgery in less than 2 weeks time. The receptionist smirks at me as I ask her how much my Private Health Cover will pay for the surgery. She prints me all the fees and asks me to pay a deposit, I smile and nod and say thank you so much... for just destroying my dreams. The silence between Shaun and I is as awkward as anything, I know what he's thinking, he knows what I'm thinking and the whole car ride home was silent a part from me forcibly asking what he wanted for lunch. Once we're home, I have a quick 30 minutes for lunch before I get to work for the afternoon. We're grilling some chicken and Shaun says to me, so what are we going to do. I hyperventilate inside and say well I have been thinking, we have a few options: 

1. We cancel my surgery..... "Carissa your health is important, no."
2. We delay the trip another 6 months to save more money..... "Carissa we have already delayed this dream of ours, no."
3. We look at selling the apartment to have the financial freedom we desire and have no mortgage that bleeds into our travel funds..... "Bingo, yes."

I couldn't believe 4 hours later my exact thoughts were now translating into reality, and he agrees with me. Our plan was to break even with the mortgage and the rent while we were away, but we needed X amount of savings to do that before we went, and the medical bills (that private health insurance sneakily doesn't cover) were a big rain on our parade. I explained the unnecessary to Shaun, how I always feel like I have my head in the clouds and I dream so big and high sometimes, that when something like this happens I feel so deflated and I start sinking back down to the ground again. I need to control this feeling, and selling the property will do that. OK quick, I have to get to work now...

I'm now excited, motivated and restless. You can hear the exhilaration in my voice as my dreams are getting closer. In less than 24 hours, we met with our most fabulous real estate agent and signed the paperwork. A lot of you might be thinking, silly, silly girl. A lot of you don't know me, and how being spontaneous my whole life had lead to a lot of success and happiness. And lately I had been lacking spontaneity and it felt so good to be alive and ready to go! 

A question I asked my followers - Would you?

I know what I want, it's been a while since I have been able to make a decision, sometimes not even knowing what to have for dinner. So knowing what I want is just as liberating as the idea of selling the house, successfully. We have the next couple of weeks on the market to see if this will all come together as we hoped, for those of you outside of Australia, the property is booming here, especially Sydney. You know when you take a journey in life, and things just work out, this is that moment in the making. With the potential to change our lives, the next step in this journey before departure, is to quit my job... A seven year career, stable, networked, well-paid and could I really do this? 

Quote of the Century